It’s been quite late now,
To have realised things I do,
Passing by the spot we met last,
I still think of you.
A tear I was hiding from my mates,
I didn’t want them to know,
How rude I was to you, that day…..
You came all the way, for a sorry,
And all I could do was, stay mad at you,
It was just a dinner you asked for,
But I turned my back and left you.
I am so sorry, I did that to you.
You were there always,
And I was afraid to lose you,
I just wished I had said that to you,
Before it was too late.
I am so sorry I did that to you.
You left me no notice,
I waited and waited for you,
You weren’t heard of for long now,
I waited more, but didn’t search for you.
I am so sorry I did that to you.
Now that you are gone,
I am searching for you-
The running I do,
The food I eat,
The books I read,
The anger I beat..
All are nothing but,
Just a search of you,
Until I find you….and
I am so sorry that I am doing this to you.
Yet again at this odd hour,
I am turning left and right,
Thousand of thoughts in one second,
Are crossing my lost mind…
The tap tapping of the beetles,
the chaos inside,
the urge to break through,
The rythmic silent night…
Fighting the same old battle of,
I wished and why did not I?
the mind and the heart,
Somehow never coincides…
You are good, you are fine,
the mind sighs…
Yeah, to a lie,an innocent heart,
Once again dies.
I was guilty of few realizations,
I accepted I was at fault.
I agreed I had hurt your expectations,
and this time I could not ask you to halt.
I made some mistakes on the way,
they were out of anger if I could justify,
I still hoped if you could stay,
but nothing looked enough that could satisfy…
You broke all the connections,
you asked for it as a demand.
I didn’t want to be a tension,
so,half heartedly obeyed your command.
It was getting tougher day by day,
I was still hoping you would come back,
and each day on my way,
I only thought how will I fill this crack..?
Only if I could be given one chance,
once if I could ask for forgiveness,
only if I could get one of your glance,
I would with love suck out all the bitterness..
But no, it was not meant to be,
and you instead displayed my innocent mistake publicly..
I made a mistake again in feeling the lack of you,
because you were no Prince meant for me..
You lost the respect in my eyes,
it overpowered all the love I ever had..
you were too good to be wise,
the crack is now filled and I am glad……!
There is something so wonderful about how we see things, how we hear them and how we think of them. Everything goes in parallel without any effort. Isn’t it? For example, if I say, “rose”. As soon as you hear it, a picture of red color rose surrounds you. Further, without any effort and in no time you decide the color to be ‘red’. Ever thought how does this happen? Doesn’t this question leave you wondering?
Our mind is very playful just like a kid. A kid who is free to do anything but you ask him to not do just one particular thing, he would preferably want to do just one that thing. You can experience this playfulness by yourself. Close your eyes and have the freedom to think of anything. You can think of anything you want except the moon. Yes, anything about this universe or in this universe but do not think of the moon. Now, tell me what were you thinking? I guess you were seeing the moon quite perfectly in the day light. Weren’t you?
This is wondrous! Our mind, our thoughts, our wish, but, nothing is in our control. It has its own beauty too.
Similarly there is one thing very beautiful about negativity or negative emotions. Yes, you read it right. I indeed am talking about negativity. The word itself is surrounded by so much of negative judgments that we fail to see its beauty, it’s importance and most importantly it’s power to enhance the value of the positive. Wondering how? Let’s try this. You know about opposites which are often counterparts right? Let’s list few of them. Say, night and day, sadness and happiness, lose and win, failure and success and so on. Now, let’s give a little thought over each of them. Night is the symbol o darkness which is negative. Right? but, imagine if it’s just day all day. 24 hours of brightness. No darkness, no night. Will you value the same way you do now? Will you yearn for the morning with the same hope? Or will there be any morning at all? Answer ? I don’t feel it’s required. Is it?
In the same context the real value of happiness is understood only once you have encountered sadness and same is meant when we say success lies in failure and every loss is a victory in itself.
A negative emotion always compliments the positive one but again the knowledge is to know the power of negativity while wisdom still lies in being positive.
Sorrow is the unheard desire,
Sorrow is the soul.
Sorrow is not just pain,
Sorrow is also a call.
The call of destiny,
The call of reality,
The call of hatred
The unseen of clarity.
Sorrow is the unappreciated effort,
Sorrow is the you before I,
Sorrow is a one sided love,
Sorrow is a silent cry.
While sorrow creeps in,
And does not justify,
It makes you so strong,
That, one day,
You defy all odds.
Surpass all addiction,
Drink all the pain,
And emerge victorious for the self.
For the self which left imprints everywhere,
Imprints of love that will continue to prevail as sorrow forever.